I'm Sorry I Left
by screammealullaby
Summary: Alfred continues to dream of the war that tore them apart, maybe it's time he got some closure. UsUk Fic Request for StrawberryAvalanche007. M for smut, one-shot


Alfred still dreams of the war that tore them apart, and decides maybe it's time to get some closure. Pretty much UsUk smut, boyxboy warnings. Please enjoy! Fic request for StrawberryAvalanche007~ No flames please, I'll cry. Thanks for reading!

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Alfred grumbled in his sleep, flopping over angrily as he slowly was lulled from his sleep. He ran a hand roughly through his blond hair, wiping away some sweat and glanced at the time. 4:12 a.m. "Damn," He mumbled, picking up his phone. Squinting at the harsh light, he searched his messages to find Arthur's number. He typed a quick message, asking him to come over this week. His head finally started waking up and he thought back on the dream that bothered him.

_Rain dripped from their faces, mixing with the sweat and tears of their war. The only thing discernible was the blood dripping from their wounds, and Alfred flinched as he felt the pain of his injuries all at once._

He winced; it felt so real.

_He looked into the emerald eyes of the man who he thought of as family. Families fought, but this… They were never meant to bleed. Death filled the air, raising from the bodies beneath them. Said bodies were turning to soggy, bloody messes around them. "I never wanted to hurt you," He said softly, lowering his gun slightly. Arthur's gun hitched up sharply, causing the American to jump in defense. He was angry. He had every right to be._

_"Don't tell me that!" Arthur snapped, aiming directly at his head. The armies behind them stilled, but Alfred relaxed slightly. He wouldn't shoot. Not to kill, anyway. "Why won't you just stay?" His voice was quivering, and that hurt Alfred more._

_"Why won't you listen about why I'm leaving?" He tried to reason, but the look of hatred grew in Arthur's eyes. "Artie, I can't be your little brother anymore. You mean the world to me, but-" A gunshot pierced the air..._

Alfred flinched again, shivering as his phone vibrated next to his head. He exhaled, turning to look at the screen again. It was a reluctant agreement from Arthur to visit in a couple of days. That gave Alfred a little time to think of what to say. As cheerful as he normally would have been to see him, he frowned. He wasn't happy about being woken up in the middle of the night but nightmares. No, he had to resolve this with Arthur.

Low and behold a few days later, Arthur knocked on his door. "Artie!" Alfred cheerily greeted. He hugged him tightly, and genuine smile splitting his face.

"Bloody hell, I thought I was visiting on serious terms!" The Brit struggle against his tight grasp but to no avail. Eventually he just relaxed and accepted it, much like one would when being strangled by a snake.

Alfred did back off a moment later, a serious look on his eyes. "You are, Artie," He stared at him intently, seemingly determined. Arthur was slightly uncomfortable, but not for long because the man dragged him into the house and slammed the door.

Arthur sat on the couch as Alfred ran to the kitchen. When he returned, he had a coke in one hand for himself and a bottle of pre-sweetened iced tea in the other and Arthur grimaced. He took it politely though, and the other plopped down next to him. They sat for a minute, very awkwardly, while Alfred gathered his nerves and the Brit was just confused.

"Uhm, Alfred?" Arthur started.

"Al," Came the response, without missing a beat. Only then did Alfred come out of his thoughts and his sad eyes locked with the other's. Arthur was shocked.

"What's wrong?" He prodded, worried about his health. He had to be dying to go from his normal self to this. He looked like a child who fell and scraped his knee. Was he about to cry?

"I had a bad dream, Artie," He whimpered, eyes watering more. A streak of anger went through Arthur.

"You called me from my house all the way here because you had a bad dream?" He deadpanned in disbelief. "And my name is Arthur, you're not a kid anymore."  
"You shot me. Artie, I just wanted to tell you why, and you shot me." Alfred was seriously close to crying and he panicked, scooting closer and patting his back so he was nearly hugging him. "Arthur," He was serious again. "Are you still mad at me?"  
"What?" He was confused for a moment, suddenly caught off guard. "No, it wasn't any trouble to come so-"

"No, are you mad at me for leaving?" Arthur was suddenly incredibly uncomfortable. His heart beat faster, only it was heavy and painful. He shook his head, looking down. He opened his mouth to talk, but stopped. What was he to say? Alfred held his breath, waiting for a real answer. "I'm still sorry I left you. That's the last thi-"

"Stop it." Arthur was suddenly angry. "Bloody hell Alfred, I didn't know you wanted to talk about _this_. Just, don't." It came out harsher than he wanted but he didn't want to be reminded of this, much less talk about it. He was reminded of it on the long trip here instead of looking for his little brother in his own house. He was reminded every year by Alfred's loud and obnoxious Fourth of July parties when he celebrated leaving him. He was reminded when he looked into those eyes that once looked so adoringly at him.

Alfred's heart pretty much broke before his friend's eyes and fear glazed his eyes as his thoughts went back to his dream. Here it came, here came the gunshot. Bam. The front door slammed. And there it was. He was still mad and Alfred would get no resolution for it. He hated that Arthur could hurt him this way. He was the only person who could take his smile off of his face.

Alfred took favor of going to his room to play video games with Tony. It didn't make him feel much better but eventually he almost forgot about how much he missed Arthur. But he definitely didn't forget that Arthur hadn't missed him. That still stung like hell. His phone rang several times throughout the rest of the day, but he ignored every call. Ivan called, Francis called, Matthew called, but not Arthur so he didn't care. He wouldn't have cared even if it was Arthur. Not today at least.

Arthur on the other hand, checked into a motel in America, unable to bring himself to leave. His flight wasn't for a couple of days, and he knew he made a mistake. Arthur was never good with words when it came to Alfred unless he was allowed to be stoic. Or angry. He seemed to be pretty good at being angry. He stretched on the bed, closing his eyes. He remembered the American's unusually sad face and he groaned. He was getting angry again, but at himself more than anything. He'd have to apologize but not today.

It was a long day for Arthur, considering there wasn't much to do in a motel room except for watch t.v. or think. He thought about everything that had happened between the two. He also had to question why the other had him so flustered. He knew the answer good and well. It was wrong and indecent but he secretly loved it. Maybe it was the young rebellious side of him that still burned sliently. It was his secret, and it would stay that way. Ever since Alfred grew into the man he was, Arthur was astonished and he admired who he became (aside from his childishness of course.) He eventually realized he had fallen for the man Alfred became.

It took Arthur a majority of the next day to get the nerve to go see Alfred. He went out for breakfast, and wandered around the city for a while. It wasn't until evening that he headed for Alfred's house.

With a trembling hand he knocked softly on the door. He waited for what seemed like forever before knocking a bit harder. This time, it wasn't long until the door slid open to show a disheveled Alfred in sweatpants and an over sized t-shirt. His hair was a mess and he obviously had been sleeping.

"Have you been in bed all day?" Arthur asked, slightly concerned.

"Artie?" Alfred asked, rubbing his eyes. "I was just, taking a nap." It sounded more like a question. He opened the door all the way and stepped aside, allowing the Brit in.

"Can we talk?" Arthur mumbled, almost shyly.

Alfred scoffed, making the other wince. He deserved that. "Now you want to," That wasn't a sat on the couch once more and Alfred dropped heavily on the other side, just about as far as he could get. Not even 5 minutes in: this was going to be difficult.

"I'm sorry, I just-" But Alfred shook his head. Arthur glared slightly. Did he realize how hard it was to admit he was sorry?

"Nope. Artie, words aren't working." He scooted close to him and leaned forward, his normally chipper face serious and intimidating. It was almost scary. Their faces were so close and Arthur was nervous. He was expecting to be yelled at, or punched, or something. Anything? He just stared at him, and It was starting to feel like forever.

Alfred stared at him until his eyes started to water. Oops, he forgot to blink. He smiled and leaned forward, kissing Arthur with no hesitation. He was resistant but only for a moment and he pressed back eagerly. His face was a furious red and his heart was pounding like mad.

Arthur definitely preferred this over being punched, and his heart was pounding from Alfred's smile.

Alfred's hands slid lovingly around the other's, mindlessly entangling their fingers. He pulled back from Arthur's lips and pressed their foreheads together, staring at their hands.

"What are you doing, you pillock?" He said, but there was no bite in his words, rather he sounded almost happy.

"I had to leave and show you I was growing up. I couldn't be your little brother anymore Artie." He didn't have to say any more, .Arthur suddenly understood. The smaller man slowly lifted a hand to twist it into his blond hair and pressed their lips together lovingly. He kissed Alfred slowly, hands trembling as he linked them behind his neck.

Alfred's hands explored what they had wanted to for so long. His fingers twisted and pulled at the soft fabric of Arthur's shirt. He teased the skin underneath with his fingertips as his tongue simultaneously slid out to tickle the other's lips. Arthur gladly granted him access, his own tongue dancing along.

The Brit jumped slightly when Alfred's warm hands suddenly went up his shirt and wrapped around his back, pulling him close. He blushed more and pulled away from the kiss. He looked at the floor, slightly embarrassed.

Alfred simply laughed at this and kissed his cheek, then moved lower. He gently licked at kissed at his neck right above his shirt and felt him let out a satisfied sigh. He relaxed in his arms and he took advantage of it. He stood up from the couch, and pulled Arthur with him. He lifted him, leaving him no choice but to wrap his legs around the American's waist and laughed when he held on for dear life. He continued his assault on the Brit's neck as he walked, stumbling his way into his bedroom. Arthur's blush returned in full force when the other sat down on the bed so that he was straddling the American's lap.

"How lewd," He mumbled, refusing eye contact. Alfred laughed at him again and rested his hands on his friend's thighs, softly rubbing circles with his thumbs. Arthur's faced relaxed which told him that he was enjoying it. He stopped in favor of slipping both or their shirts off over their heads. While they were both well built, Arthur was definitely thinner and a bit lankier than himself. He smiled lovingly when he felt hands wandering his own chest and for a moment his world stopped. He admired how beautiful the sandy blond looked sitting on his lap, legs spread and half naked. Beyond that, he saw how happy he looked, and that was all he ever wanted. This was his dream, and it made him ecstatic to know it made Arthur look so content as well. He put his hands on his cheeks and kissed him tenderly once more, trying his best to convey exactly how he felt.

When they finally pulled away from the kiss, Arthur took initiative and pushed Alfred down so he was laying on the bed. He placed his one hand next to him, and the other on his chest, effectively pinning him down. He looked over his new found lover, rather content. Alfred's fingers looped into his belt loops as if to hold him there so Arthur began mapping out his chest with one hand.

Alfred pulled the other down so their bodies were now flush, the bare skin or their chests warm against each other. He could already feel his excitement growing and he was sure that he noticed. He rested his hands on Arthur's backside, making him jump when he squeezed slightly. Arthur glared half heartedly, making him laugh loudly. He couldn't help it. He hugged the other and rolled him over so he was now above. He pushed his legs open with his knee, and pressed against Arthur's growing erection. The emerald eyes avoided his as he left out a soft sigh of pleasure at the friction. Alfred was torn between moving faster and enjoying the moment. In this case, he was forced to obey his hardening erection, and decided to move forward.

His tongue lapped at the skin of Arthur's chest, occasionally biting and kissing softly while his hands went down to the button of his pants. He undid the zipper and rubbed Arthur gently through his boxers. It was hard to contain his smile again, but this was something he hadn't imagine being a possibility in his wildest dreams yet here he was. He tugged off and tossed away the rest of Arthur's clothing. The older man blushed furiously when his thighs were forced wide apart and the other was between them. His hand softly wrapped around his length, his thumb teasing the tip of it.

Arthur moved back a bit, resting his against the pillows and headboard and Alfred followed without missing a beat. He watched Arthur's face as he kissed the tip of his dick sweetly. His tongue ran over it, causing the other to breath in sharply. His hand began to pump with more pressure while his mouth began to envelope him and Arthur seemed to melt into the bed. Alfred gagged slightly, managing to take more than he probably should have. His tongue teased the shaft on the way up, swirling against the tip before diving back down. Arthur let out a soft moan, ensuring him he was doing something right. The American's hand slid up the other's stomach to his chest, softly brushing his sensitive nipples and he came back down to his thigh.

His free hand teased the inside of Arthur's thigh, painfully close to his entrance. His head moved faster and his hand pumped along the base of Arthur's shaft. The sandy blond hair stuck to his forehead and he arched his back, desperately close to the edge. This didn't go unnoticed, and the other complied, trying to quicken his pace. It wasn't long before he couldn't take it, he pulled Alfred's face away just as it became to much, but he wasn't fast enough. Alfred's hand slowed it's rhythm but continued as streams of white covered his mouth and chin.

Arthur blushed furiously, hurriedly attempting to apologize. A look of mortification came other the Brit's face as Alfred wiped it off then licked his fingers clean. He laughed,leaning up to kiss him as he grimaced. His hand slid over to his bed side table, digging in the drawer and pulling out a small bottle. He squeezed some of the substance onto his fingers blindly as he continued ravishing his lover's mouth. He reveled in tasting two sides of Arthur at once.

Alfred parted the other's legs widely once more, teasing him with one of his prepared fingers. Arthur grunted at the intrusion; it was all the other could do not to force his finger into the tight heat. He waited patiently for him to relax, wiggling his finger and moving it in and out, just a little further each time. Arthurs panting was turning into quiet moans, so he offered another finger. This one was more difficult to get in, but he managed and as soon as the blond relaxed he began to stretch him, scissoring his fingers and pushing them deeper. Soon he forced the third and Arthur relaxed quickly, shamefully pressing back against his fingers.

"More-" Arthur panted, lifting his back of the bed and running a hand through his hair. His cock was becoming hard again from the fingering and he desperately needed something more. Alfred's other hand slid into his own pants, his erection on the verge of painful from the erotic display. He pulled his fingers out of his lover, who whined needily having lost his regard for his dignity. The American swiftly threw his sweatpants and boxers, pouring lube on his hand and stroking his own cock. He closed his eyes for a moment, desperate for release. Once he was prepared he climbed over the smaller man.

He lined himself up with Arthur's backside and pressed their foreheads together once more, staring into his eyes lovingly. Surprisingly, they kept eye contact as he pressed against him, lost in ecstasy already. He moved slowly still, containing himself until he was all the way in and waited for the ok to move. Arthur finally gave him a small nod and Alfred's face lit up with a wide grin. He planted a short kiss on his nose, then slowly pulled out nearly all the way. He moved slowly and meticulously, though self control was hard he was enjoying every minute of this.

"Faster," Arthur whined, and the other was happy to comply. He rested his head on Arthur's shoulder, moaning lowly in his ear. A pleasant shiver ran down his spine, even more so when the other angled his hips more. The Brit wasn't sure how much more he could take as he pounded relentlessly into his insides. The closer he got, the more he wanted so he begged for more. "Harder, Alfred." He panted, lifting his hips to meet his lovers pace. He hugged his lover close as they moved, sweat dripping down their bodies and their moans mixing harmoniously in in the small room.

"Artie," Alfred groaned. He slipped his hand down to Arthur's erection once more and moved it at the same pace. "I'm so close," He trailed off. Arthur simply nodded and moaned in response, clawing at the skin of the American's back. With a final call of his name, Arthur released over their chests, much harder than the first time. The constriction of his body easily sent Alfred over too, filling him to the brim. His movements slowed to a stop and he tried to regain his breathing. He peppered kissed across Arthur's red face as he grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and wiped them off. He rolled over and hugged Arthur close to his chest, resting his chin on his head and finally pulled out of him. The other let out a satisfied sigh, shyly hugging him back.

"I left because I love you Arthur," He said quietly, slowly falling asleep.

Arthur blushed, tensing slightly before a soft smile tugged at his lips. "I love you too you bloody idiot."

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Hope you enjoyed! Sorry for any mistakes, I looked it over but it's 3 in the morning and I'm tired! I haven't written in a while, sorry If I'm rusty! Thanks for reading!


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